This past weekend I was at a baby shower. I like baby showers, all the ooos and aaahs, and cutsie wootsie little things we do in celebration of the baby. I won’t go into too much detail about what it took to get there: washing and combing through my two daughter’s hair, making sure it was presentable for a Sunday afternoon; since we didn’t go to church, I wanted to make sure we read the bible, prayed and sang one hymn together (I am quite old school and was raised southern Baptist- some things I just have to be sure my children experience.) Well, I thought I’d take the metro so I could read (I’m a mom, ok) Well, I am a driver, been driving long country miles since 15 and 8 months. Needless to say, I got lost walking. Never in a car, I get upset when I’m lost. I am comfortable there; secure, able to whip a u-turn in a heartbeat. So walking with 3 inch hills in an unknown area is not my usual “get lost” area. I had to literally calm myself down before walking into the party. My upset comes when I least expect it at times. I blame it on hormones. Anyway, I was fine, the shower was beautiful and everyone was completely smiles. Happy occasion.
Then the dreadful question was asked, “Ok, can someone give (mother to be) some advice about motherhood.” Folks scanned the room, it seemed and their eyes landed on me, mother of three. The mother-to-be yells, “No negative stuff.” OH shit. I just stood there. Eyes fixed on me. I uttered, “Uh… Uh….Um… let me think. She said no negative stuff. Hmm. Um…” Some days you can’t give advice on certain topics. I thought about all the beauteous things I had been through experiencing this mother-thing so far. I thought about how perfect I felt being pregnant and dumb after trying to breastfeed when everyone swore the baby was hungry. I thought about the commercial that sent me crying every time I heard it because it reminded me of how much I loved my child and I wanted to give him everything. I thought about how I felt like super mom one day after simply washing my ass, getting everyone ready for the day, eating my breakfast, and going to work. Then realizing I forgot to fix a lunch and my child may be eating a cheese sandwich from the cafeteria. Oh no! Don’t ask me, I was depressed for a year after my third child. Don’t ask me, I had a melt down at the very moment my one year old was having one. My son used to spit and fall out in the middle of the floor and I didn’t know what to do. Don’t ask me, one day I cooked oatmeal for dinner because I was too tired to fix a decent dinner. Should I let her know that her outlook on life may change after each child? Should I shout out, Mothering does not come natural to everyone! No matter how much you know folks (husband included) are there for you, at times, you can feel very alone. Should I tell her to ALWAYS close the door while using the bathroom- it may be your only “me” time. Hell no, she’s too happy. Panicked and silent, “Uh, being a mother….” I never completed the statement.
Today, after loading up one of five loads of laundry and a wiping sticky substance off the wall, and kissing my precious darlings good night, it hit me. My motherly advice:
Experience it for yourself, love it at times and live it.