How Do You Do it?!
Tamara Wellons
Authentic and Lovingly Open
Archive for the ‘Family’ Category
The B-Word
The B-Word
My three year old daughter came to my bedroom, where I was relentlessly cleaning and confided in me. She told me that she wanted to tell me something, but I might get mad. She held her head down in shame for her thoughts. Finally she said, “It’s a b-word.”
What was she talking about? I said, “Ok, someone said a bad word?” She was silent. I assumed she or her siblings had discovered a new curse word. I was ready for this. I went easy with, “Butt?” She said no. I said, “Well, what was the word? You can tell Mommy.” She whispered, “Bored. I’m bored.”
I laughed inside, thinking about what I drilled into my children’s little minds. I tell them, “You must not have a brain if you are bored. Bored is a bad word in this house. There is always something to do. What does your imagination have to say about that?!”
Though, I don’t want to them to confuse boredom with quietness or stillness. Being quiet and still is ok. That’s tomorrow’s lesson. Well, for her and for me, I immediately stopped what I was doing and spent the next two hours playing hide and seek, zoom, airplane on mommy’s feet, anything I could think of. Anything but bored…
A Little Touch of Heaven
It’s snowing in Washington, D.C.
For a lot of people, this is the dreaded peak of winter. For me, snow days are a little touch of heaven. I remember as a young girl lying on the floor of our cozy den watching the snow fall from our huge window. The feeling of beauty gently rushing towards me would give me such a rush. Not a rush like standing on that old wooden bridge as the black and rusted freight train ran below me. I was never brave enough to stand still and watch it. I always ran fast just before it went under. But that snow was like a little touch of heaven falling on my face, I cherished it then and now. It is the beauty of nature. Not only that, with everything cancelled and closed, this gives me the opportunity to finish, to clean, to organize, to rest, and play, all in one weekend.
Thank you God.
Don’t Do It
I should have never signed up to be the chairperson. Three kids- barely wiping their own behinds. Don’t do it to yourself is what I told myself early in the year. Now I am failing miserably at this job. Well, maybe not miserably. But I am winning at somethings!
Listen out for that grammy nom tomorrow night.
Big Mama- How Do You Do it?!
I don’t.
Motherly Advice Oh No!
This past weekend I was at a baby shower. I like baby showers, all the ooos and aaahs, and cutsie wootsie little things we do in celebration of the baby. I won’t go into too much detail about what it took to get there: washing and combing through my two daughter’s hair, making sure it was presentable for a Sunday afternoon; since we didn’t go to church, I wanted to make sure we read the bible, prayed and sang one hymn together (I am quite old school and was raised southern Baptist- some things I just have to be sure my children experience.) Well, I thought I’d take the metro so I could read (I’m a mom, ok) Well, I am a driver, been driving long country miles since 15 and 8 months. Needless to say, I got lost walking. Never in a car, I get upset when I’m lost. I am comfortable there; secure, able to whip a u-turn in a heartbeat. So walking with 3 inch hills in an unknown area is not my usual “get lost” area. I had to literally calm myself down before walking into the party. My upset comes when I least expect it at times. I blame it on hormones. Anyway, I was fine, the shower was beautiful and everyone was completely smiles. Happy occasion.
Then the dreadful question was asked, “Ok, can someone give (mother to be) some advice about motherhood.” Folks scanned the room, it seemed and their eyes landed on me, mother of three. The mother-to-be yells, “No negative stuff.” OH shit. I just stood there. Eyes fixed on me. I uttered, “Uh… Uh….Um… let me think. She said no negative stuff. Hmm. Um…” Some days you can’t give advice on certain topics. I thought about all the beauteous things I had been through experiencing this mother-thing so far. I thought about how perfect I felt being pregnant and dumb after trying to breastfeed when everyone swore the baby was hungry. I thought about the commercial that sent me crying every time I heard it because it reminded me of how much I loved my child and I wanted to give him everything. I thought about how I felt like super mom one day after simply washing my ass, getting everyone ready for the day, eating my breakfast, and going to work. Then realizing I forgot to fix a lunch and my child may be eating a cheese sandwich from the cafeteria. Oh no! Don’t ask me, I was depressed for a year after my third child. Don’t ask me, I had a melt down at the very moment my one year old was having one. My son used to spit and fall out in the middle of the floor and I didn’t know what to do. Don’t ask me, one day I cooked oatmeal for dinner because I was too tired to fix a decent dinner. Should I let her know that her outlook on life may change after each child? Should I shout out, Mothering does not come natural to everyone! No matter how much you know folks (husband included) are there for you, at times, you can feel very alone. Should I tell her to ALWAYS close the door while using the bathroom- it may be your only “me” time. Hell no, she’s too happy. Panicked and silent, “Uh, being a mother….” I never completed the statement.
Today, after loading up one of five loads of laundry and a wiping sticky substance off the wall, and kissing my precious darlings good night, it hit me. My motherly advice:
Experience it for yourself, love it at times and live it.
Never Alone
Sunday mornings are special. Thank God for this day and the newness of it.
All praises to God for all he has done.
Today at church the pastor started an old hymn that took me back to Little Gilfield Baptist Church, “Never Alone”. It is so comforting to hear those hymns, it just brought me to tears.
